Becoming a Dad: My Unexpected Journey Into Fatherhood
I’ve decided to write about some of my experiences as a parent and to pass on any insights that might help others. My parenting journey has certainly not followed the traditional path, and I’ve made my fair share of mistakes along the way.
My son is now 27 years old. He owns his own business, and I couldn’t be more proud of the incredible, caring, generous, and loving man he has become—especially considering everything he’s had to endure.
This is not a “Parenting 101” guide. Instead, it’s a journey through one person’s honest attempt to do the best he could. It’s a story about acceptance, letting go, and navigating life’s challenges with heart and passion. Perfection in parenting doesn’t exist—it’s subjective and unattainable. What matters is intention and presence.
I’ll be sharing this story in several parts, with a new post each week. I hope you enjoy them and find something meaningful in them. If you’re in need of someone to talk to or looking for guidance on parenting, please reach out via the contact form. I’d be happy to help however I can.
“I’m Pregnant.”
Hearing those words from my 18-year-old partner when I was 22 changed everything. I was overwhelmed by a mix of emotions—none of them distinct enough to name other than sheer shock.
I always knew I wanted a family one day, but we hadn’t planned on having children yet. In fact, we hadn’t even discussed it. That moment re-wrote every plan I had for my future, though I didn’t realise it at the time.
We were both avid churchgoers, and the idea of not having the baby went against everything we believed in. Termination wasn’t even a conversation. Despite the fear, I also felt a deep happiness at the thought of becoming a dad.
At the time, our lives were far from stable. I had left behind my dreams of becoming an actor and moved up a mountain to make furniture—embracing a kind of free-spirited, hippy lifestyle. I had no steady income, and we barely had enough money to feed ourselves, let alone a child.
The idea of being responsible for another human being started to stress me out. I had to seriously evaluate our situation. Thankfully, I’d studied business economics at TAFE and knew how to plan and set goals, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing right then.
We started writing down lists—lots of lists. For me, getting thoughts out of my head and onto paper has always been the best way to manage overwhelming emotions. Once things are written down, they feel less chaotic and more actionable.
Eventually, we distilled our planning down to four key areas:
- Money. We needed a stable income. That meant I had to find a reliable job—fast.
- Living Situation. Our mountain home was beautiful but impractical. It was far from support networks and expensive to access.
- Health Care. We needed a doctor, Lamaze classes, and a plan for where the baby would be delivered.
- Essentials. We had to start gathering everything a baby needs—clothes, pram, nappies, feeding supplies, and more.
Once we broke it all down into manageable parts, something that felt overwhelming began to look like the adventure it was meant to be.
Of course, writing it down is only the first step. Reality often presents challenges you can’t anticipate. Finding a job was tough. Rejections stung. Eventually, I landed a role as a sales assistant at Myer, selling computers and AV equipment.
We also moved in with my mum, which made living costs more manageable and allowed us to save for baby essentials. It wasn’t the life we’d envisioned at the time, but it was what we needed to do for our future child.
We attended Lamaze classes and learned about parenting basics—nutrition, sleep, stress management, and more. These days, the internet offers a flood of information, which can be just as overwhelming as it is helpful.
I remember my mum saying, “Back in my day, we didn’t need all that stuff—and you boys turned out fine.” She wasn’t wrong. In today’s society, we often overcomplicate life. First-time parents especially can feel paralysed by the sheer volume of advice and expectations.
It’s easy to feel like you’ll never again have a life that’s truly your own. And you won’t—at least not in the way you once did. But that’s not a bad thing. You become forever connected to a new life that you helped create. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll begin to experience the joy and wonder that comes with it.
Let go of the idea of being a “perfect parent.” That’s not the goal. The goal is to be the best parent you can be—with your strengths, your flaws, your humanness.
Becoming a parent has been the single greatest gift of my life. It’s brought me the highest highs and the lowest lows. It’s shaped me into the person I am today, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I firmly believe that the most important aspect of life is having purpose. And to me, the greatest purpose is to cherish and care for other sentient beings. Having a child is one of the purest ways to live that truth.
I’m not saying to go out and have a child just to find meaning—but if you already have one, or are about to, please cherish every moment. When it feels hard, when you’re overwhelmed, remind yourself what an extraordinary miracle it is to give and care for life. There is no greater purpose than that.
Next week I will write about the wonders of knowing everything before you have experienced it and why it is so hard to take advice as a parent even though you have never done it before. Until then I wish you all the best and happiness with each step you take.
‘Make this book a morning ritual.’ Matthew McConaughey What does it mean to be a great father? Parenting is a role filled with meaning and purpose, but every dad needs guidance: because fatherhood is not a one-off, it is something you do every day. From Socrates to Martin Luther King Jr., ancient philosophy to contemporary psychology, The Daily Dad collates wisdom from around the world to help every dad face the day-to-day challenges in the lifelong job of parenting. Each daily meditation offers a memorable lesson on being the role model and carer your child needs, rooted in timeless principles. Parents new and experienced alike will find inspiration and advice to last a lifetime.
